Get to know John Mann

Growing up, I was just a “bad kid.” Unfortunately, that meant my parents were bad parents (even though they were not).  The blaming didn’t really help things as you might imagine.  I was labeled immature, reckless, incorrigible, and worse at times. I just didn’t know how to channel my energy or manage my curiosity.

My colleagues in Early Childhood Education  describe my childhood as "fraught with unregulated behavior." There was no known diagnosis or meds to help back then.  Had there been, I would probably have spent my school years in a medicated stupor.  Instead, I got to know my elementary principal Mrs. Gordon really well! I might never have found my way to a joyful life but for a handful of amazing youth leaders, neighbors, teachers and coaches who saw me for something more than my "unregulated behavior." Notice I didn't say cure or fix in any way. I was not and I am still not broken. Different? You bet. In need of strategies to cope and learn how to regulate my behavior and thinking? Absolutely.  Broken? Never.

As I grew older, a few more challenges rose to significance as I learned to regulate my behavior better. These new companions on my life journey were always there, just not as front and center early on. Chief among these are depression, anxiety, and anger. I thought these were separate "bonuses" not connected to my ADHD.  A few years ago, a dear friend with similar challenges clued me in. I never realized how these and other challenges I have are likely linked to my ADHD. 

Pity me not! I revel in having turned some of my challenges into superpowers. After being distracted, absent-minded, or just plain bored, I use the adrenaline rush of impending deadlines to accomplish tasks both professionally and personally.  I can focus, but it is usually preceeded by procrastination. I am at my creative and productive best when I am on a tight deadline.  It flips on a dime. And my distracted times are not completely unproductive.  That's when I get some of my most useful (and most unhelpful) ideas.

 I can carry a conversation with just about anyone about anything for a short time or all day. I have to watch over-contributing, interrupting, and not listening well as others speak. If I get really interested in something, just try to keep up with me.  Until I lose interest, and I go from 60 to zero in a nanosecond. I have a garage and closet full of toys you can borrow from my past hobbies that, once so important, have since faded away. 

 Personally, "normal" is overrated. It's just a cycle on a clothes dryer to me. Not much there to look at or talk about. Even boring. But oh how I would have given anything to be "normal" growing up.  Now I embrace more willingly who I am and how my brain is wired. Except when I don't.

I have stories to share, and I would love to hear your stories as well. If you relate to any of this yourself, or see it in someone you love, I hope my stories will help bring clarity and hope.  And hopefully sharing your stories will help us all.

My dad was the one who most often called me "Knucklehead."  Thankfully, both he and my mom came to understand my behavior was not their fault in their later years.  Society is rough on parents of "bad" kids.  By default, they are labelled bad parents.  They were not perfect, but they were not bad parents at all. By speaking aloud our shared experiences, we were able to reach closure on my "unregulated" childhood before they passed.

I will be blogging from time-to-time about my adventures in neurodiversity.  I especially encourage you to comment back on my blogs to share your stories if you feel inclined.  It has been through hearing other people's stories I have made sense of my life.

If you would rather comment to me in private, feel free to email me at john@knucklehead.life.  I would be honored to hear your story in private.

No neurons were harmed developing this website.